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Home > News > Ziedrich’s Diary 7 – Own Worst Enemy

Ziedrich’s Diary 7 – Own Worst Enemy

 

This diary post is really about my issues on trust and friendship.

I’m always an honest person so I’m pretty open-minded, everynow and again, I seem to lose confidence in my own ability and thus I end up going into depressing and augmentative mood swings. Recently, I said on my facebook status that I think I don’t have any true friends and that I don’t feel loved, after having a conversation with my fiancee later on the day, she said to me that I am my worst enemy and thus it’s my lack in others that it pushing me away from everyone I know and love.

I suppose that I have a sort of alter ego that makes my life miserable, I’ve always been a loner from primary school and high school, roughly 15 years of loneliness, it’s a long time which is probably why I’ve never been a outdoor or partying sort of person. I guess it’s my love for games that kept me sane and away from all the troubles of the outside world, only until I met my fiancee that I actually started to find friends, although I am still unable to make friends with locals, thanks to that of Facebook, I am finding friends from all across the globe and actually meeting some of them has been a great experience and if I go to the London Expo in October, meeting even more of my facebook friends, it will just be a good feeling!

As far as the London Expo is concerned, I’m still in the green for going to the event, I’ve already booked off the friday and monday between the weekend of the event. This will be my first major memorabilia expo visit so I admit, I’m a little nervous and with the wedding plans are putting me on edge too, but at the moment, everything is going smoothly, my parents are helping out with some of the wedding payments which we are ever grateful for.

I already feel better just getting my feelings off my chest, I managed to talk to one of my friends and everything is cool now, I feel happier knowing I have support again, I just have to control my ego a little better, sure it’s unavoidable, we all have our ups and downs, our good times and bad but in the end, everything will be alright as long as you have good friends who do rely on you and want you to be happy about yourself.

One final note, I will be starting a trend that has been going around Facebook recently, “30 Days of Gaming”, where people post their best times on games from the retro times to the present and I thought, at first, it was a silly idea but after studying some people’s ideas and opinions, it’s convinced me to start thinking of creating my own version but I will be posting it here, in my blog, instead of on my facebook account and I will start my “30 Days” from the 1st of April, so when the 30 days have pasted, it will be my blog’s first anniversary so what I fine way to start the countdown eh?

Thats it for another week, sorry about the post being a little serious and puzzling, this is a diary post after all, I am free to speak openly on my own feelings. I will make another diary blog when I get the time, thank you for reading and understanding

xXxXx

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